Surrealism of Writing Into the Void

Tags: diary gamedev overworld

        👄⚫         <Om nom nom nom nom)
🚹 🦵🦵🦵

I haven’t shared on here in a while, though it’s mostly because Hakyll won’t compile on my work laptop, mostly. The other reason is that blogging is a surreal experience for me, especially when I don’t know my audience. I have literally no idea who you are, or why you would be stalking this blog.

But from past experience, the highest probability is that you’re literally stalking me.

The second highest probability is that you’re someone I left a neat impression on and you wanted to find out more about the weirdo in makeup that you met at a party last weekend.

And I truly in my heart of hearts believe that the lowest probability of all is that you’re actually here for the content.

Maybe it’s hard for me to accept that anyone would actually like anything that I create. Even though I seem to consistently be proven wrong on that notion, it still surprises me every time.

Speaking of people liking something I’ve made, I put a short clip on social media(which I for the most part have successfully avoided for the majority of the last year), and… people seemed to like it. Enough for it to go viral. I mean my social media followers have more than doubled from that one post.

It was this one btw:

So that happened!

But I do gain value out of blogging. Personal value. I mean, writing in a way that sorta ignores my audience. If you guys get value out of what I’m saying too then that’s great but,

Pandering doesn’t feel right to me.

And I’m done pandering.

I want to create what brings me into the flow state.

For a long time I had a great disconnect between myself and the things that bring me joy. It was to the point where I wrote out lists trying to figure out what I enjoy, but it never felt right.

Losing touch with what you enjoy is a real thing, and I wouldn’t wish it on any body.

But it has been a powerful learning experience for me. Through it, I’ve learned to value inspiration, and art, and doing these things for their own sake rather than for some other hidden purpose.

I’m fortunate to have been gifted the time and space to work on my personal projects. It’s a great place to be, and I hope that we’re all able to achieve that.

May art follow you where you may be